Dear @Andy,
I've adored your onscreen persona since I first saw you moderating a 'Housewives' reunion show on Bravo many years ago. Where did this guy come from, I wondered, who with the same winning smile can spin any subject into campy humor or challenge any guest with a pointed question? You were a novelty then and you remain unique among public personalities. It's no wonder you now run a self-made media empire centered on your personality and the reality television shows you've conceived.
Last June, amfAR gave you and Miley Cyrus awards for your "exceptional contributions to the fight against AIDS." As a gay man who came of age in the 1980s, I'm sure that that award is very personal to you, as it should be. You've worked in both news and entertainment production, and you know better than most how media depictions affect public perceptions, behaviors, and how they can create or break stigma associated with diseases such as HIV.
Do you remember Pedro Zamora, the brave young man who was the central focus of MTV's The Real World in 1994? At that time, it would have been laudable simply for him to admit on national television that he was gay, much less that he was living with AIDS. I'm sure you remember.
Do you remember when Zamora's cast mates were shown to mock him, laugh at him, alternately doubt him and blame him for the severity of his illness? Wasn't it a terrible thing to witness his personal struggles for his life, only for the show to intercut footage of his purported friends making light of his illness?
Contrast the video above with this one:
You don't remember this because it never happened on The Real World. But it's happening right now, on your production, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, as Yolanda Foster's struggle with Lyme disease is being exploited to create drama. To what end?
All these years later, we still remember Pedro--and at this point really should give producers Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray credit for editing a storyline that broke down stigma and promoted understanding of HIV and AIDS rather than fueling fears and propagating misinformation--and likewise, we will remember Yolanda Foster in 20 years. And we will remember either the compassion or the vitriol with which she and all people who live with Lyme were treated not only by the women in front of the camera, but also by the network that broadcasts the show. It'll get you tons of money, but not a respectable legacy. If that matters.
I can't make sense of why you, your co-producers, and your network have chosen to frame Foster as mentally ill rather than physically ill, and to showcase her cast members cackling in private about their assumptions that Foster is feigning a devastating illness for attention. Even when Foster admitted on camera to contemplating suicide, she was lambasted. Your show has become merciless.
OK, I can make sense of it--I get it, you need a story and controversy fuels ratings. But again, at what cost? Please contemplate your amfAR award and think about those who were on the wrong side of the HIV/AIDS conversation in the 80s.
Lyme disease exists, too. What are the consequences of your depiction of it?
Do you recall the community of ignorant people on the Oprah Winfrey Show who wouldn't let a man with HIV into their swimming pool? Winfrey, to her credit, told these people they were wrong: she took a stand on the basis of compassion and understanding; she didn't say, "my job is just to let these people speak their minds." You should really watch Winfrey's description of her approach. She's a master creator of compelling and socially responsible entertainment.
By virtue of your role as creator and executive producer of RHOBH, you're not only on the wrong side of the Lyme conversation, you're leading it. Many of us do not mistake your off-camera influence on the story for not having a voice. Viewers are savvy enough these days to know that reality television producers carefully craft storylines from hundreds or thousands of hours of footage. The story we are witnessing, even Lisa Vanderpump's, Kyle Richards's and Lisa Rinna's inferences that Foster is mentally ill or not ill at all, is the story you have chosen to convey to audiences. And it's utterly irresponsible. For people like me with Lyme disease, watching this is like someone at home with AIDS watching Pedro's cast members mock his health. But that wasn't shown--it didn't happen. Why? I would guess because the producers tethered their product to their consciences and saw an opportunity to make Pedro's life-and-death struggle a lesson for us all.
Andy, you know that media depictions have direct consequences: You recently won an award from the AIDS charity founded by Elizabeth Taylor, who was committed to actually helping those with AIDS who were being treated as cruelly as the people on your show (and its invisible production crew) are treating Yolanda Foster. Her commitment was genuine and loving, and her choices were pivotal in saving countless lives.
You may not be aware--most people aren't--but chronic Lyme disease today has a great many parallels to HIV/AIDS when the virus became known in the early 1980s. It's not fatal as often, although it does kill as it recently contributed to the death of a 37-year-old man, but it steals lives and livelihoods even without killing by physically and mentally disabling people.
The storyline that you and the co-producers of RHOBH have chosen to tell is killing a part of me. It's devastating to witness people mock someone who is so ill while I am at home experiencing the same physical devastation that your cast of adult "mean girls" are doubting and mocking. Remember that the film Mean Girls was a satire on these sorts of adolescent behaviors; your show more and more is a celebration of it.
In the end, you know better than I do that the show exists as it is because of your choices of editing and story, not because of Lisa Rinna's ignorance of Lyme or Lisa Vanderpump's casual nastiness.
Emails and tweets bearing this request have gone unanswered, and so I must resort to an open letter: Please, I urge you, Bravo, and the NBC family of networks to acknowledge the severity of Lyme disease and use your influence for good. Broadcast the documentary Under Our Skin so that viewers will understand how complex and devastating the disease is, and how Foster is one of thousands or even millions affected. Interview knowledgeable researchers. And, for God's sake, show some compassion. You've got ample power and influence. It's time to see your conscience and your heart.
I've adored your onscreen persona since I first saw you moderating a 'Housewives' reunion show on Bravo many years ago. Where did this guy come from, I wondered, who with the same winning smile can spin any subject into campy humor or challenge any guest with a pointed question? You were a novelty then and you remain unique among public personalities. It's no wonder you now run a self-made media empire centered on your personality and the reality television shows you've conceived.
Last June, amfAR gave you and Miley Cyrus awards for your "exceptional contributions to the fight against AIDS." As a gay man who came of age in the 1980s, I'm sure that that award is very personal to you, as it should be. You've worked in both news and entertainment production, and you know better than most how media depictions affect public perceptions, behaviors, and how they can create or break stigma associated with diseases such as HIV.
Do you remember Pedro Zamora, the brave young man who was the central focus of MTV's The Real World in 1994? At that time, it would have been laudable simply for him to admit on national television that he was gay, much less that he was living with AIDS. I'm sure you remember.
Do you remember when Zamora's cast mates were shown to mock him, laugh at him, alternately doubt him and blame him for the severity of his illness? Wasn't it a terrible thing to witness his personal struggles for his life, only for the show to intercut footage of his purported friends making light of his illness?
Contrast the video above with this one:
You don't remember this because it never happened on The Real World. But it's happening right now, on your production, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, as Yolanda Foster's struggle with Lyme disease is being exploited to create drama. To what end?
All these years later, we still remember Pedro--and at this point really should give producers Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray credit for editing a storyline that broke down stigma and promoted understanding of HIV and AIDS rather than fueling fears and propagating misinformation--and likewise, we will remember Yolanda Foster in 20 years. And we will remember either the compassion or the vitriol with which she and all people who live with Lyme were treated not only by the women in front of the camera, but also by the network that broadcasts the show. It'll get you tons of money, but not a respectable legacy. If that matters.
I can't make sense of why you, your co-producers, and your network have chosen to frame Foster as mentally ill rather than physically ill, and to showcase her cast members cackling in private about their assumptions that Foster is feigning a devastating illness for attention. Even when Foster admitted on camera to contemplating suicide, she was lambasted. Your show has become merciless.
OK, I can make sense of it--I get it, you need a story and controversy fuels ratings. But again, at what cost? Please contemplate your amfAR award and think about those who were on the wrong side of the HIV/AIDS conversation in the 80s.
Lyme disease exists, too. What are the consequences of your depiction of it?
Do you recall the community of ignorant people on the Oprah Winfrey Show who wouldn't let a man with HIV into their swimming pool? Winfrey, to her credit, told these people they were wrong: she took a stand on the basis of compassion and understanding; she didn't say, "my job is just to let these people speak their minds." You should really watch Winfrey's description of her approach. She's a master creator of compelling and socially responsible entertainment.
By virtue of your role as creator and executive producer of RHOBH, you're not only on the wrong side of the Lyme conversation, you're leading it. Many of us do not mistake your off-camera influence on the story for not having a voice. Viewers are savvy enough these days to know that reality television producers carefully craft storylines from hundreds or thousands of hours of footage. The story we are witnessing, even Lisa Vanderpump's, Kyle Richards's and Lisa Rinna's inferences that Foster is mentally ill or not ill at all, is the story you have chosen to convey to audiences. And it's utterly irresponsible. For people like me with Lyme disease, watching this is like someone at home with AIDS watching Pedro's cast members mock his health. But that wasn't shown--it didn't happen. Why? I would guess because the producers tethered their product to their consciences and saw an opportunity to make Pedro's life-and-death struggle a lesson for us all.
Andy, you know that media depictions have direct consequences: You recently won an award from the AIDS charity founded by Elizabeth Taylor, who was committed to actually helping those with AIDS who were being treated as cruelly as the people on your show (and its invisible production crew) are treating Yolanda Foster. Her commitment was genuine and loving, and her choices were pivotal in saving countless lives.
You may not be aware--most people aren't--but chronic Lyme disease today has a great many parallels to HIV/AIDS when the virus became known in the early 1980s. It's not fatal as often, although it does kill as it recently contributed to the death of a 37-year-old man, but it steals lives and livelihoods even without killing by physically and mentally disabling people.
The storyline that you and the co-producers of RHOBH have chosen to tell is killing a part of me. It's devastating to witness people mock someone who is so ill while I am at home experiencing the same physical devastation that your cast of adult "mean girls" are doubting and mocking. Remember that the film Mean Girls was a satire on these sorts of adolescent behaviors; your show more and more is a celebration of it.
In the end, you know better than I do that the show exists as it is because of your choices of editing and story, not because of Lisa Rinna's ignorance of Lyme or Lisa Vanderpump's casual nastiness.
Emails and tweets bearing this request have gone unanswered, and so I must resort to an open letter: Please, I urge you, Bravo, and the NBC family of networks to acknowledge the severity of Lyme disease and use your influence for good. Broadcast the documentary Under Our Skin so that viewers will understand how complex and devastating the disease is, and how Foster is one of thousands or even millions affected. Interview knowledgeable researchers. And, for God's sake, show some compassion. You've got ample power and influence. It's time to see your conscience and your heart.
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, and Dave's personal holiday goal is to break the dieting habits of body-obsessed homosexuals with his home cooking. His new holiday tradition is preparing food from the book 
, which eschews snobby foodie language and focuses on the pleasure of eating. (And eating. And eating.)
, would it? On my holiday episode, Brian recalls watching the special while decorating the tree with his mother every year. It was a fake tree that they still use to this day, pulling it out of storage every year -- like so many comforting traditions, it's available in its familiar form whenever you need it. Brian's visiting friends always used to note that his tree had a black angel, which few of them had ever seen before.
, which is about a mother who gradually learns to appreciate her son's relationship with another man. It's a story that has particular resonance with him: Jonathan's own parents still haven't fully accepted him, and his hope is that his own relationship with them might someday mirror that of the parent and child in the show.
, a celebration of Hebrew history voiced almost entirely by Leonard Nimoy. He's also a fan of the odd 
holiday episode in which the girls all spend Christmas in a men's prison.
, a weird children's direct-to-video special from Good Housekeeping in which an oddly sexy man dressed as a reindeer schemes to usurp Rudolph's position. He's also a fan of the Jack Benny 1957 holiday special, featuring a screaming Mel Blanc (who voiced practically all of Looney Tunes). The special still holds up, more than fifty years later! Also popular in the Melcher household (by which I mean with Cody and his cat) are the 
holiday episodes, including the episode where Frasier has to pretend to be Jewish so that his girlfriend's mother won't disapprove of him.
this time of year. His mother, a dancer, inspired him with a love of dance. And every December, he knows that Christmas is right around the corner when he starts thinking about Baryshnikov in tights. His favorite parts of the show are the dark, brooding, dangerous chords, reminding us that the dead of winter is a time to huddle together lest the darkness and cold overwhelm us.
, featuring Wynona Rider as a strong female figure. 
, though he admits to being troubled by the movie's problematic minstrel-inspired song. That number aside, Brady's family all watched the movie together every year for the holidays, and it was actually his first introduction to drag. In one number, the two male leads lip-sync to song sung by women, while mincing about in what amounts to a sort of semi-drag costume. Seeing how his family enjoyed the song, Brady felt a glimmer of hope that they might accept him when he finally came out -- and sure enough, they did.
by accident one night while flipping through channels by himself. He was feeling lonely, and Scrooge's song "I Hate People" seemed to strike a chord with him. But by the end of the movie, Scrooge had learned to love life, and Matt realized that the negative feelings he'd bottled up could be reversed. These days, he watches the movie with his husband every year. He doesn't hate people anymore.
? Terrence used to watch it every year with his parents, before they divorced. Nowadays, his family is far-flung across the country, and it's hard for everyone to come together like they once could. Like George Bailey, he didn't quite appreciate how good he had it until it was taken away.
? Maybe it's because the film, with its cast of thousands and its intersecting storylines, reflects the interconnected nature of modern online life. Guardian writer Zach Stafford speculates that the film appeals to twenty-somethings because its web of relationships and love stories so closely resembles dating in the internet age.
. The story is about a rough-shod family that tries to take advantage of good Christians, only to be won over by the story of the birth of Christ. As a kid, Phil auditioned for a local production of the story, and then through the theater met all the gay mentors and role models who would help him emerge from the closet. In a way, it's a reverse of the book's theme: two worlds collide, but in Phil's story it's the religious one that yields to the more subversive queer influence.
. Like Richard, Jack Skellington is very tall, but the similarities don't end there. They both discover that a holiday can be so much more than they ever dreamed. And that's what's truly magical about Christmas: you can use your imagination and make the holiday anything you want it to be. Christmas doesn't belong to anyone -- it can be whatever you make it.